You’re only as alone as you want to be.
“You’re very brave.”
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“What about the language barriers?”
“What if something happens to you?”
I never thought much about whether it takes being brave to travel alone. I just enjoy it.
Of course I’m afraid sometimes. But you learn a few phrases in their language, and they usually know a little of yours. I can’t very well sit around at home waiting for something to happen to me here, now can I?
***
To sound a bit trite, I strongly believe that “The Universe conspires to help the dreamer….” Those (Paulo) Coelho-esque words sum up everything that I’ve ever believed about “going” and “getting.” In my younger years, I thought that I just had the lucky combination of stupidity, wrecklessness, and sure….a little bravery that I inherited by osmosis, having grown up in a household with three older brothers. If I wasn’t keeping up, I wasn’t playing. Simple as that. If you don’t have just a little bit of balls, you get left behind in a setting like that…..I dreamt of traveling. I love to do it alone.
Traveling solo is liberating…and you’re only as alone as you want to be. My schedule is my own to keep or to discard, as the case may be. And it was my own schedule when it was decided that Nepal was out. And that India was the next place to be…until I Visa to Malaysia at the border. India would be delayed for a few days while I visited Kuala Lumpur…until I heard about Borneo on my way to the bus station and decided that India was looking less and less likely because the primates in the jungles of Borneo were calling. Malaysia went from a four day jaunt to a 5 week excursion with headhunters, swinging on vines and into trees, making life-long friends, hanging out with National Geographic photographers, discovering the amazing beauty of high tide with the Mangrove trees, discovering my own little slice of heaven in Bako National Park with a 4 hour hike through tangled roots in the jungle, to be dumped onto a secluded beach at the end of the trail bodysurfing in the bath-water-warm South China Sea. Yes, bodysurfing. And y’all KNOW I’m afraid of ocean water.
Solo travel leaves life open for serendipitous meetings. I met Justina, who lives 2 blocks away from my mom in San Francisco, and we said to each other, “Wait. Are you me??” I don’t meet solo female travelers often on my trips, and they’re never Asian. Or American. Or Asian American. I played for days with National Geographic Photographers from Sweden, and with journalists from Finland who put me in their magazine, Mondo. Rie, a local tour guide, arranged for me to stay an extra night and day at the Island-on-Heaven even though all rooms were booked and I had no local currency left to pay for lunch or the room I eventually stayed in. I just had enough for the boat ride back. ….“The Universe conspires to help the dreamer….”My dream in this case was small….I just wanted to stay for as long as I could on Bako. And I did. All I had to do was tell Rie what I really wanted to do. “Don’t worry about what it costs,” he said. “And don’t worry that there are no rooms. Just give me a Yes or No. One simple word.” When I told him that I wanted to stay, he gave me the keys to the chateau that was reserved for him as a guide on tour for the next days. It turns out that he stayed with the local staff in their dormitory. He bought my lunch and basically told me to go along my merry way. I skipped off to find the bearded pigs w/ National Geographic. On my earlier trip in April, I met Chris, with whom I had planned to trek Nepalese trails. And Alberto with whom I stay with in Kuala Lumpur. I met English girls with whom I traveled for a few days and stayed up with all night until 7am, sharing 3 pitchers of Tiger. As a lone female traveler, I’m alert at all times. Many people want to know where you’re from, what you’re doing, where you’re going, whom you’re with, and where you’re staying. I sometimes lie. When I'm on the bus, I sit near a door, and always on the outside; I have a fear of being cornered. I always know who’s sitting behind me and try to observe whether they’re all friends. I make friends all around the neighborhood, at the hostel/guesthouse, at the Internet cafe, and at restaurants, just in case I’ll need their help later on the trip. The way Rie helped me. As well, it makes them remember me, and if for some reason I don’t show up, many people will know that I’m missing. I’m mentally knocking on wood….
I carry a knife, though I probably will never use it on a person. I carry a whistle. I’m always dressed comfortably in shoes that I can move quickly. I travel light and my bags are always organized so that they’re ready to go with my most important things consolidated. I always look behind me. I don’t go far from my guest house at night if I’m alone. I don’t go to bars at night. I e-mail home often.
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